Anger.

I could write a mean Taylor Swift song right about now.

That's how mad I am.

Freeeeezing.

California.

Between dramatic temperatures drops and Real Housewive shows I think they have enough overreacting and drama for one state. 

Also, California- once you've reached Artic chills you'll realize that UGG boots don't count as winter wear.

 

I can say this, because I used to live there. I have no sympathy.

Thanks Dani for sharing this awesome clip. 

Now cue all the Californians so get all defensive...AND....go!

Home.

Today I got my FIRST keys to my FIRST apartment for the FIRST time by myself.

I'm sure some of you can imagine, but I never thought this day would come. 

I feel excited, scared, worried, happy, etc.

I'm excited to start something new.

I'm scared that I'll be lonely.

I worry about money (big commitment)

But I'm happy about my choice and step in life.

Cute one bedroom, one bath, wood burning fireplace, walk-in closet, East Bench Utah, closer to work, animal friendly, nice pool, etc.

I have too much space and not enough furniture to fill it. My furniture consists of my bed frame, bed, and a borrowed love sack from my parents for the living room. One piece that I will most likely give back one day.

 

Now on to Pinterest to find out how I want to decorate the darn place.

.

When you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. 

-Unknown

Distractions.

Distractions are the only thing I can do right now, because any minute I have to myself to think to about how I'm feeling, I cry.

Although, I've been trying to keep busy in those moments I don't know what else to do. I can't change anything no matter hard I try and to go back to where I didn't fill my free time with tears.

But this past week Life served me a double scoop of crap. And the only translation I can express is sadness.

I'm going to let myself cry right now, let myself feel sorry for myself for some time. I believe it's okay to do so. 

I normally reserve the negative parts of life outside of my blog and only in my journal with my deepest secrets and desires. And there are still some of those things that I do not feel comfortable sharing. Sharing unhappy thoughts in a blog is already awkward, but I think it makes us human. That's what really sharing your true self to others that read and may not really know you is okay sometimes. Life has great moments, funny moments, but everyone has sadness.

I will not dedicate several posts to the depressing issues, because let's be honest, everyone will get sick of it. But I think I need to get used to the fact that I don't always have to fun and exciting, and that I shouldn't be scared to share the bad as well. We are humans.

This is not a place that I want people feel sorry for me, but a place where I want them to understand me. This is who I am, and right now I'm sad.

I'm sad because I no longer have my best friend, the person I grew with for so many years, and the first person that I have ever truly felt what love is.

Distractions. It's all I can think of. So if anyone would like to contribute to helping distract me, feel free, I'll say yes to pretty much anything that will help.

Music.

I'm in love with this song. 

If this song could convey any emotion it would be the beautiful dance between a summer's eve drive with the window down and sweet, warm, summer breeze twirling across your face.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Add a splash of lemonade.

Perfection.

Holidays.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Hope everyone has been great. This holiday season has been quite different. My parents' house right now is kind of lacking the Christmas cheer due to the minimal decorations we are able to put up. The parents are having to be out of their house 3 days after Christmas, and going all out just didn't make sense. Ta-Da! Let's see how that goes.Thank goodness my parents' tree come with pre-lit lights or this house would just be depressing.

Although the house is lacking Christmas cheer, I'm still attending Christmas parties, shopping, helping make Christmas cookies. 

Is it just me or has December gone by so fast? Holy Cow!

One minute I'm stuffing my face with turkey and pushing through the Black Friday crowds and now I'm less than two weeks away from Christmas day. What the heck?

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I'm proud to say that this was my first Thanksgiving I had off and was able to really sit down when everyone else was eating in 7 years. This is no exaggeration. It's completely true, as sad as it may seem. That's what happens when you work at the supposedly "Happiest Place on Earth" that is conveniently opened 365 days a year. 

Oh! I'm going to be an Auntie on December 28th. Okay, not a blood-related Auntie, but close enough. Kat, my dearest sister wife is going to have Baby Addison that day! I'm sad I can't be there, but I'm sure I'll get to meet her one day. And I'll Skype her and Face Time her once I get my handy iPhone.

I also forgot to take any pictures at my work Christmas party, which was casino night themed and dinner. Ben and I got to dress up and ate a nice dinner, play games with no actual money to lose. Pretty sure any time I put chips down on the table, the dealer would say something like, "Oh, you don't want to put your money there, you want to put it here." Good thing I really wasn't in Vegas.

Well, this post is all over the place. For a moment I was going to do a Too Cute Tuesday post, and then I forgot to take a picture. Oops. So disappointing. Anyways, Happy Holidays everyone!