Overheard convos.

*Filling out questionnaire*

"Occupation? Do you know how long it took me to figure out how to spell esthetician even after I was going to school for it."

I cringe for the youth.

Good feelings Friday

source

It's Friday. So this day already deserves good feelings. And I'm going to keep the motions going and talk about something that makes me feel good.
Love, and the opportunity to find it again.

After the heartache and self re-discovery I've now been through, I can confidently say that I can't wait to fall in love.
As cheesy as that may sound, it's so more than true. And I like to think of it as I get to relive the butterfly stage, the dating, the flirting, and exciting parts about first falling for someone all over again. I literally get so excited just thinking about going through that with someone I truly like.

Someone worth my while.

Bring it on. I'm ready. Whenever he is. Haha.

Kissing a Stranger

 

A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook wall, and after watching it was strangely moved by the whole concept behind it.

Get 20 strangers to agree to make out with each other. And they easily found people to do it. It's funny to see all these strangers that all agreed to something they thought would be easy, all react slightly more difficult than they had imagined.

I feel your pain, I'm all talk and very little action.

I think it's beautiful to see that although all these people are so different, they all relatively react the same. Either smiling or laughing before the initial kiss. I think everyone can relate to this situation. The First kiss.

It's always so nerve wracking and exciting. I don't know about you, but for me, all this video did was remind me of all the first kisses I had...the exciting ones at least. And that was a little happy moment for me. Something to look forward to.

What did or didn't you like about this video? Did it make you feel uncomfortable?

FACT #29

Being Single-

 

Definition: verb. state of being;

 

  Where one doesn't have to shave their legs...ever.

You can see I've been up to a lot lately.

I was defeated.

Today defeated me and I hated that it did.

I tried so hard to not let it happen. But it did. I had no control over it.

I held it together all day. Until I reached my car.

And then cried.

Because I didn't know what else to do. 

I don't mind being alone, but moments like these, I just want someone to call and give me a big hug.

Please, Tomorrow. Be nicer.

OH hi.

I've missed you, but you really haven't missed much.

Besides me moving back into my parents for a few months, me crying about it, remembering how sharing a bathroom with your 20 year old brother is gross, doing (3) people's worth of work at my job right now, going to my 3rd baby shower this past month, having mood swings about wanting to chop off my hair, stressing about getting my address changed,  and I need an oil change and my taxes done.

There really hasn't been much.

But here are some random pictures that don't relate to each other what-so-ever.

 3 gays, 1 girl, on a crowded bus eventually turned into 6 gays, a girl, and a pizza place.

 It's yours.

 skiing!

 missing Erica so much right now.

 purse candy and purse gum unite to make one super purse item

Snap chats that make me happy and loved

Hunger games reference

PS. did you know that there is a whole circle of  gay bars downtown named "the fruit loop"?

Well, now you do.

Don't leave me, because you think I'm boring. 

I'm thinking probably good things should be coming soon.

December 2013 off list

Here are some more updates for December that I was able to cross of my 101 list.

39. Try an Ethic food that I've never had before December 2013

I had the pleasure of trying Ethiopian food. I was excited to try something new and open my pallet to things other great food. It was great, and definitely an experience. You eat with your hands. But the cute boy company didn't hurt.

44. (an unmentionable item) 2/3

69. get my first Christmas tree (and don't let that die too) December 2013

Well, I was able to keep it alive for the appropriate time. Some time after Christmas, the tree found it's untimely death. Meaning, I just threw it away 3 days ago.

77. visit niece Addison for her 1st birthday December 2013

I'm so glad I got to be a part of my niece's 1st birthday. Isn't she the cutest thing? I'm completely obsessed with her.

85. play beer pong for the first time December 2013

It's embarrassing and shocking that I was once a teenager, a college student, and now am a post-college, 26 year old that has NEVER played beer pong. Who am I? Well, I finally played, and lost miserably...we don't need to explain more than that.

So I'm trying to write a book...

Have I mentioned yet that I'm trying to write a book?

Well the keyword is "trying."

It's definitely more challenging than I anticipated. Especially since I'm writing several short stories about things that happened to me. You think it would be easier to write about it.

Well it's not.

But here's just part of my introduction to my book. Right now, I am naming the book "Talking with My Hands"

Introduction

I was once told that I talk with my hands. Correction, I was once defined as being very “gesticulate”.

Definition: verb. use gestures, esp. dramatic ones, instead of speaking or to emphasize one's words.

            Because I had no clue what that meant, of course, I agreed. I wanted to look awesome. Who doesn’t want to look awesome? I did until they rudely asked if me I knew what that meant and proceeded to find it okay to “gesticulate” his hands over to MY plate of food.

I’m no fancy. So let’s just put it simply for the non-assholes like us; I just talk with my hands.

Even though I don’t know the proper word for talking with my hands, it’s funny to think I’m smart enough to figure out how to write with them. Oh, excuse me, according to Thesaurus.com, how to speak in longform with them.

Also, here is the beginning of one of my chapters.

Behind

It’s pretty awkward but yet pretty awesome how much attention my ass gets. Did that make you uncomfortable? Yes, we’re talking about my ass right now purely for the fact that it draws some sort of attention that I can’t explain. I mean, I don’t believe it’s at a Kim Kardashian level but we all know that’s not how she got famous in the first place. But for some odd reason, my ass, gets attention and like I said earlier, it’s slightly awkward and awesome all at the same time.

I’ve been told that I have a petite body, let’s be honest, I've been told that I have child body. And growing up I was made fun for having a small body and a large head. Kids. But apparently there is one thing that sticks out like a soar thumb, and I never thought about it until I was able to gather stories, plural, through out the years where my bum has had several run-ins.

Being married with a twin.

You know how when you were younger and you were swinging on the swing set and if you were swinging with someone else at the same rhythm you were "married" or "twins"?

Does that still apply when you're older and running on the treadmill at the gym?

If so, I'd be "married" to a 5'1" older, Hispanic man, wearing Beat headphones, a too tight tank top, and swassy (sweaty ass) sweat pants. And I'd also be "twins" with a man with the same length of hair as myself (so I guess the twin thing could be true).

The Art of Timing.

source

Timing is a bitch.

But at the same time, Time is this little things that gives me goosebumps and butterflies.

Timing works in ways that the average person can only truly understand until you experience it.

Or really anyone with a past.

With this said, I've always been in a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason.

Even with that said, now, more than ever I believe that timing is reason/purpose's partner in crime.

I've never been so aware of timing until recently.

Timing mostly with the people in my life and how and when they have come and gone, or have stayed around.

It's so amazing, but terrifying how life throws people at you.

Timing has thrown a lot of people at me in the last year and I'm now seeing why.

I feel as thought the next set of timing in my life is being set up to happen.

The thing with timing is you can't plan any of it.

Which makes it thrilling and exciting, but then the terrifying part comes in.

You just have to have that little bit of faith.

Funk.

Is this thing on?

I've been getting the feeling lately that I should just stop posting all together. For all time and eternity. Sometimes it feels more like a burden than anything else.

But then some days, I think, "Maybe someone is reading this?"

Anyways, today. I feel in a funk. Not my self.

I'm not sure if it's because I pushed my bangs to the side or that today is just an off day.

I'm feeling emotional, in a NOT that time of the month way/ shark week kind of thing. 

I hate it. Feel normal!

I'm not good with feelings. I just want feelings to go away.

Tomorrow will be better.

I'm thinking it will.

November 101 Updates...in December

I still haven't added to my list, but I'm still crossing them off! 

Here's what I've been up to this last month.

16. Buy Fresh Flowers 1/5

There's really no explaining, and these were for no reason, but to make my insides happy.

32. Try 5 new recipes 2/5

Made this Honey Crunch Pecan Pie (not all from scratch-the crust was store bought) and brought it to a Friendsgiving party. I think people liked it. It smelled delicious, and was able to give the recipe out to someone. Here it is if you'd like it.

40. Kiss a Stranger November 2013

Sorry, Mom. I kissed a complete stranger. I won't lie and say that a little liquid courage didn't help.  I walked over there, asked him to kiss me. When he did, I told him that wasn't very good. And then he kissed me again (and it was better). That is totally out of character for me but I'm proud to get out of my comfort zone and just do it!

44. (an unmentionable item) 1/3 November 2013

That's all you'll ever know.

61. Get a raise November 2013

YAY! I asked for what I wanted and was able to get a raise in addition to what they were going to give me. I stood up for what I thought I was worth and was able to get that raise I've been needing and wanting.

70. Try Eggs Benedict November 2013

It's was my oldest friend Anna's birthday, so I took her out for brunch one day to celebrate. Anna loooves the eggs Benedict. So when I told her I had never had them, she said we had to go to Eggs in the City and try them.

Um, why have I been missing out on those for so long? Heaven.

The one time I dressed like Baby from Dirty Dancing

...and somehow ended up in a 6'5" man's arms 6'5" in the air to the song I've Had the Time of my Life.

Weeks before my friend's wedding, I had searched everywhere, stores and online for the perfect dress. I wanted to look hot. Who doesn't when you know there will be a reunion with a bunch of people you haven't seen in awhile?
Am I right?

Point being, I found the dress I wanted to wear.
Part of it's appeal when I bought it was that it looked like the dress Baby wears in the film Dirty Dancing.

It was perfect.

When time came to go to the wedding, I was so astounded that so many other people referenced that it looked like the dress from Dirty Dancing.
I was dying.
Yes! DREAM COME TRUE!

I swam in the sea of compliments, until one of the bridesmaids was like, you should reenact the scene from Dirty Dancing with my fiance?
screechy record

Say wha?!?!

I looked at her fiance and told him that we don't even know each other, and I would NEVER make him do that.
Weirdly, his fiance would not let it go.

He's strong. He won't drop you.
This was the ultimate trust fall, if I've ever seen one.

After coming back from the ladies' room, I walk into the reception area, and thee song, you know what song I'm talking about, THEE song I've Had the Time of my Life came on.

And who was in the middle of the dance floor?
This girl's 6'5" fiance and her pulling me to do the famous jump with him.

My face immediately went red.
And I insisted that this would not be happening.
Until people started chanting my name...
Why does this happen at every wedding I go to?
and this one

And I buckled under peer pressure.
I just wanted to please my crowd, ya know?

Next thing I know, I'm saying a little prayer and take a deep breathe and run into the arms of a stranger.

...and somehow ended up in a 6'5" man's arms 6'5" in the air to the song I've Had the Time of my Life.

And lived to tell the tale. And it was f*cking awesome.

I like me.

I like me.

I like who I am right now.

I like the person I'm becoming.

I like seeing the person I might develop into.

I like that I'm weird and quarky.

I like the certain parts of me that most people don't know about. The serious side.

I like the loving side of myself.

I like the person I am when it comes to my family.

I like the person I am with my friends or how I am with my friends.

I like me.

Yes, there are a lot of things I could point out about myself that I don't like. But to be honest, when I thought at those things, they were mostly physical things. And then as I write that, that even sounds so stupid to even think that.

I'm a weird believer in that everyone has a path written for them, and you are only given as much as you can handle. Sometimes it's easier and sometimes it's definitely not. I believe that all things happen at certain times in your life for a purpose. For you to learn or to change.

After this past year, I'm glad I've been alone. Just been able to focus on myself and figure out who I am and what I want in MY life, not worrying about how to fulfill someone else's. I feel like I have been forced with this time for a reason. I feel like the universe is telling me that I needed this amount of time to figure it out.  I need to give myself this time to be happy, with most importantly, myself. 

This time was meant for me to learn to like myself. And I like me.

FACT #28

I am handicapped when it comes to opening cardboard food boxes.

the ones with the tab things

I cannot leave a box untouched without it looking like I murdered the box and then tried to make it look like an accident.

then I have to open the bag on the inside

Brunch or Dutch?

Friends! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!

First, I apologize for a large absence.

Remember my last video and how awful my voice sounded? Well, let's just say that that was the best of it. And I was not able to talk for the next 6 days.

BUT I lived! And ready to tell you another story up on Chronicles of Datelandia.

Check it out here!

Have you told your friends and family to subscribe to my YouTube channel? In fact, have YOU subscribed to my YouTube channel?!

HERE

If you haven't, then I will NOT be thankful for you tomorrow.

lies

If you do, I will forever be grateful. Plus, it's probably a really smart thing, smart people do.

 cause smart people always do smart things

Share how much you love me, and I will share how much I love you. 

I tend to get emotional easily

Doppelganger

Kira Sabin.

If you are reading this: Hello, I'm secretly, but not so secretly obsessed with you and I think we are personally the same emotional person.  And I think we could bond over how mildly embarrassing we both are to our friends and family.

You get me, girl.

Kira Sabin is my emotional doppelganger.

She's like that wise advice or comment that your parents gave to you that one time and tell you exactly what you needed to hear at that certain point in your life. 

And at first you don't really get it, but then later, after the fact, you totally do and your mind is blown!

Kira Sabin is a life coach or love coach? 

I don't know really, but she's kick ass. 

And after I found one of my friends on Facebook posted this recent article, like I said, MIND BLOWN PEOPLE!

I about peed my pants.

THIS ARTICLE RIGHT HERE

This article was exactly what I needed to hear at the right time in my life.

And I feel like she wrote it about me. Is that weird?

You're probably thinking Lauren, really? You're acting like a teenage girl reacting to a Justin Bieber song.

But if you know me at least a little bit, read this article, and you tell me this isn't me.

I triple dog, dare you!

Oh it's on.

Anyways, she has an awesome website called starttravelinglight.com. And if you just browse around just a little, you'll realize why I love her.

Check her out. She's awesome and I wish she read this so we could be best friends, get brunch and mimosas on the weekends, and Instagram it all like normal besties do. Duh.

I don't ask for much.

Text #4

More things you shouldn't text a girl that you're trying to date...

Let's talk about your over use of the word "Righteous."

I'm 100% sure you grew up in Utah your entire life. So unless you've "shred some nar" in a place that isn't completely landlocked. Speak English!

Just because you can handle some "pow" for about 5 months out of the year that there's snow on the ground, that doesn't make you a bro.

And I'm definitely NOT your bro. 

Braaaa!

The Call vs. The Text

Lovies!
I'm up on Chronicles of Datelandia again talkin' about "The Call vs. The Text".
I pretty much just wrote that sentence with my head swerving-it's the sassy pants

If you love it or have any questions leave a comment, write me an email at ljacobson22@GMail.com, or share all this love!  Share on social media, on your blog, on your YouTube channel.
Let's be friends already?!

Or the best, subscribe to my channel on YouTube
If you didn't know you can do that. Well you can!

The Call vs. The Text

We all know you're curious about my mug.
It's from Target (what else is new).
And since I'm horrible at removing tags such as this.
The mug was on sale for $2.
 BOOM!
I'm gonna pop some tags and I've got $18 STILL in my pocket...

101 Updates

Hello lovelies!

I am happy to say that I've been going strong at trying to accomplish at least one or two of my list items a month. I hope I can keep it up.

But at the same time I haven't finished my list. Is that bad? 

32. Try 5 new recipes 1/5

White Chicken Chili/Soup

I found this recipe on Pinterest, and as the cooler weather comes in this recipe is perfect. And not to mention SUPER EASY. I mean, I'm no cook and I could make this taste good. Seriously, there are 5 ingredients. You can find the recipe here. Although, I recommend using 1/2 the chicken broth they recommend if you want a more chili consistency and 5 cups of you want a more soupy. I even tried to get it to reduce, and it didn't do much with the full 6 cups.

66. Watch "Practical Magic" while drinking margaritas October 2013

If you have never seen "Practical Magic" then you won't get the significance of the margaritas. Well my dear friend Erica has never seen that movie. And myself and Julia felt like we needed to ring in October with the movie and some good old margaritas. I recommend the combination.

75. Go to a University of Utah football game October 2013

 My oldest and dearest Anna and her husband are season ticket holders to all the University of Utah football games. Since moving up to Salt Lake I've literally moved from BYU central to U central. And I love it. Anna was nice enough to give me her husband's ticket one night and I had a blast. I plan on going to more next season. Thanks Anna!