Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Let's make it through Hump Day...
Insert most awkward logo known to mankind.
+Hair only looks good when you're not trying, and when you try it lacks luster. No hairspray will fix that attitude.
+Falling up stairs in public arenas. Common occurrence.
+I feel and touch everything. Really, DO NOT take me to Bed, Bath, and Beyond or the home section at Macy's.
+Two people making out at the gym before their jog. I feel uncomfortable about public displays of affection in odd places such as this. Like the library or snow cone shacks. The gym is a new one though.
+Friend: Who's that boy that sings all those songs? (I knew who she was asking about)
Me: Justin Bieber. (smart-ass answer that is NOT the person she was referring to, but I said it anyways)
Friend: Ha ha, no the dwarf kid from Chelsea Lately?
Me: (holding back the urge to say Justin Bieber again)
It was funnier at the time.
+Women concerned about the fact that I ordered only a half sandwich (which came with chips and their sandwiches are bigger than the size of a Home Pride sandwich I would have made myself)
Woman 1: You only want a HALF sandwich? Nothing else?
Woman 1 again: So you just got the half sandwich? You didn't want anything else?
Woman 2: Was that HALF sandwich enough for you?
+How I Met Your Mother. Whatever you do, DO NOT LAUGH AT THIS.
+Specific smells that signify memories. They always show up at the right moment.
+Getting a much needed manicure and pedicure. I miss it so much.
+Running is cheaper than therapy.
+Schmidt from New Girl, "Old people are like the human versions of pleated pants."
You are so wise Sir Schmidt.