Saturday, August 4, 2012

Excitement and Thoughts

Mr. Man of Mine is coming home. If I haven't explained, or you haven't been tuning in, or maybe I just flat out forgot to tell you.
He's been in Alaska all summer. Dillingham, Alaska. Working like a dog.
This is probably the explanation of why you haven't seen any recent posts about Mr. Man of Mine. 

What has he been up to all summer, you ask?
Well from his description, "Imagine the worst and most disgusting job ever, and that's this job."
He's up there working on the docks, cleaning out all the big bins the fish come in when they come off the fishing boats. (At least this is what I believe he's doing, guess I'll get a better description when he gets home)

He's coming home soon, and I can't wait. I truly missed him every second he's been gone. We haven't been able to have much contact while he's been gone. Dillingham, AK doesn't get cell service, and he's been working such long hours, phone calls are minimum. If I'm lucky I'll get an email once a week. We are the long distance relationship pros. We've been doing it for so long and it's still not easy.

Since he's been absent, I've had a lot of time alone and today I realized that sometimes it's a good thing. I don't think anyone truly loves being alone in life, I know I would not want to do it forever. Everyone likes that comfort. But I do feel as though everyone should have time alone, when they are young to truly know who they are. I mean, do you? 

I believe that some people rush too fast, too soon from relationship to relationship that they don't know confidently who they really are as a person. You know those girls, the ones that always seem to be in a relationship. Their last one ends, and their next one begins a week later and the grueling process rapidly repeats itself. I almost feel bad for them, those who don't know how to be alone. How do you know you could even be happy with who you are yourself?

I do know some people who were very confident in the person they were at a very young age, and were very successful in their relationships and in life. Others I have seen are not always gifted, where they conform to whatever they believe another person wants them to be. I believe that no one should ever feel that way (coming from personal past bad relationship experience). As for myself, I will never regret my alone time, the time in between relationships, in my early 20's figuring out who I really am. Learning to like the person I am.

So who am I without my man?

I like to think of myself as the same well-rounded female, genuine, a horrible liar, true, loyal in relationships and friendships, someone who thinks they are funnier than they probably are, charming, awkward, not good at asking for help (only because I know I can do it, whatever it is, even if I know in reality help would make things easier), loving, that most people like (so I'm told, not always the case), very indecisive, probably worries too much, compassionate, and is an ugly crier.

And I am okay with all of those, which makes me happy. Also, being with someone who is okay and loves those certain parts of me is even better.

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