Distractions.

Distractions are the only thing I can do right now, because any minute I have to myself to think to about how I'm feeling, I cry.

Although, I've been trying to keep busy in those moments I don't know what else to do. I can't change anything no matter hard I try and to go back to where I didn't fill my free time with tears.

But this past week Life served me a double scoop of crap. And the only translation I can express is sadness.

I'm going to let myself cry right now, let myself feel sorry for myself for some time. I believe it's okay to do so. 

I normally reserve the negative parts of life outside of my blog and only in my journal with my deepest secrets and desires. And there are still some of those things that I do not feel comfortable sharing. Sharing unhappy thoughts in a blog is already awkward, but I think it makes us human. That's what really sharing your true self to others that read and may not really know you is okay sometimes. Life has great moments, funny moments, but everyone has sadness.

I will not dedicate several posts to the depressing issues, because let's be honest, everyone will get sick of it. But I think I need to get used to the fact that I don't always have to fun and exciting, and that I shouldn't be scared to share the bad as well. We are humans.

This is not a place that I want people feel sorry for me, but a place where I want them to understand me. This is who I am, and right now I'm sad.

I'm sad because I no longer have my best friend, the person I grew with for so many years, and the first person that I have ever truly felt what love is.

Distractions. It's all I can think of. So if anyone would like to contribute to helping distract me, feel free, I'll say yes to pretty much anything that will help.